my mood sux so much when ii wake up to see what you wrote.
i don't really understand you now.thought our friendship is good then others.
but im sorry im wrong.
all i wish to ask you is why.?
why was everything changing.?
when we are both alone we are always okie.
why whenever we in office with someone else..
you will change your attitude towards me.?!
was it my fault of changing attitude.?
i wish to know why!why is that so...
Labels: please alighten me..
what we could have been, 12:51 PM.
went working as per normal.
whenever im on my way to work hurtful feeling just appear.
- devil side of mine just come into me telling me turn home!
because devil says i will get hurt just turn over to home!
devil ask me to hide myself at home before my wound get deeper.
- angel side ask me to take this risk with her and go work!
angel ask me to face the fact the way im being treated.
ask me not to run from the fact that cant never be change.
end up, i stil went work because i believe im not a weak girl.
i want to do things in my way so im gonna ask why!
but when i saw her i already get F by her cos of my summary.
i kept silent.ii don't know why..im feeling so hurt inside..
but still smiling outside.im having so much stress but who knows.?
when we went somking i did voice out on the treatment im getting.
yet all you did is telling me by the way your treating me is a way of
pushing me work hard.but when i say it wont do any better..you laugh.
and when i ask you treat me better you say okie.and laugh again.!
we headed back to office both still talking.everything is okie okie de..
but now things is like this?!
was all the chat we have all fake?
Labels: i dont know why..
what we could have been, 12:25 AM.
its been 4days ii last login to blogger.
seriously im busy with work.everything shipment is MANY.MANY!
22march.
Panda didn't come work so ii went alone.cabbed down to work place.
as its raining Stone n Paper. so ii took cab from pasir ris :)
well im bored today.feeling so down..ii wrote a emo line in facebook.
and who knows..jiejie read it and question me with it..
im not good in words nor good at face to face..sorry about that.
ii just keep wondering why im being there placed like a mute doll..
what im doing everyday is making me so boring..just wants to talk..
yet no one was there to talk with me :( im feeling down..
ii always ask you for a smoke you say don't want as your busy.
but next mins you can ask yeelee wanna smoke.?and your went off.
im waiting for my turn every since morning till evening..till you knock off.
ii didn't touch a stick on that day...ii knock off early too.
meet up with Baby, when the mins ii see him ii really wanna cry out.
on the way to meet him all my mind was thinking is why.?why this treatment?
what have gone wrong.?why im always the out-cast everywhere ii go to :(
it pull my whole confident,cheerful,smiling,laughing,kiddo character down.
ii need to recover and need to move on.i know im emotions.ii admit.
but emo was in my blood.this what i say to everyone.im serious.its in me.
there's no ways of changing me into someone who im not.so don't go over limits.
meet Baby went to buy food at the late-night market and headed off to his house.
Baby's going book in tonight.so im going home when he's going book in.
@ his house we both fall asleep.and when ii wake up..he's checking my phone.
well ii need some space of my own.and i need my friends.the way im treating them
might not beyond your limit but to me its normal. hope you understand.
23march.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGELA :)
well some reason make our friendship goes till the end.
so we didn't really click anymore.and during this few years..
we didn't make any meet-ups.so ii guess we drifted far apart.
now we are like stranger.no longer friends or even hi-bye.
but ii still remember your birthday ii don't know why..
i still remember all outing we have in past.with our girls along.
remember going all the way till VIVO after school for our outing.
we went there have Ben N Jerry.that's the fun day we have.
always meet ups with laughter.leaving with hugges.
i don't know your can still remember or might forget but its with me till now..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
24march.
i went work with Panda.he fetch me and we went for breakfast.
eaten prata and drink ice milo.but who knows~its a waste only!
because when ii get back to work place..ii vomited everything out!
i don't know what's happening to my body and gastric.
every morning if i happened to eat anything ii will just vomit out :(
maybe my gastric is very very weak.im not sure.but after vomit..
ii feel better.Thank PeiWen she's there with me for the whole day.
asking me alright.?remind me to eat medicine.andandand the....
most TOUCHING part is..my old illness have a hit on me.!so i told her.
and know what.?SHE REMEMBER!she still remember my illness during..
our schooling life at C.H.I.J :) loves you deep ar!hahahahahaha :)
what we could have been, 10:07 AM.
earth, yesterday night Baby come over to my place.
he but food for me but im still angry till he explain.
and this evening Baby have left me alone at home..
he have to go for driving with that aunty..
soo all ii can was wait for Panda to end work.
we are meeting as we going out for movie tonight.!
wooots~ don't mistaken he's my closest friend @ all times!
and tonight Baby wasn't coming over as he going friend's house.
so ii allow him to go with that group before he say im restricting.
sometimes ago ii text Clement my Only dude~
he's at india :) i miss him ever since the last meeting we had.
its been ages since we stop meeting because he's currently Attached.
ii have no words to say to him when he can leave me alone unlike past.
ii waited for our meeting for so long till ii text him and ask him..
when will we be meeting.?he reply asking me to believe him again.
and he have pass his license.so mostly will drive me out for someday.
ii wonder will that day ever come to me.?or was that another empty hope?
but somehow ii decided to give another chance to him.
hopefully Panda can meet me on time.we will be watching movie @ 11.50pm.
Alice In The Wonder Land.seriously this the first time im watching that show..
ii don't know was it nice or not.but friends comment its nice and funny.so try?
tomorrow Baby will be bringing me out for another movie!so happy!DATING!
Baby say wanna catch the show (How To Train Your Dragon 3D) wooots! :)
what we could have been, 5:02 PM.
ii woke up with a hit on my tummy :(
im having my cramp for each month..
ii wasn't able to go work as it cramp lot.!
ii text both my JieJie.im not feeling well.
actually the day before Yeelee jiejei know..
she and my Godmama (ping) know my cramp.
both was scolding me somehow..telling me this..
you can't drink that you can't eat..as im having cramp.
im really happy in heart just that ii never show.
thank you both for giving so much concern to me.
i love you both!
............................................................
im alone in my loner world today.
im having a painful cramp..now the best part is...
Baby went Lanshop after army ends..
we somehow have some small fight.but ii think it
DON'T WORTH MY FIGHT.
im sick down here yet you can happily inform me your going..
ii wonder to myself..was ii important or friends and Lan.?
ii question you..yet what you can only reply me was all the FAKE answer.
ii can always ask you to follow your heart and if you wants to Lan just go.
but you never even think im sick now!its not that im normal :(
thanks for the line that you just said,
YOU NEED TO RELAX.
i just text back (up to you, im speechless.happy?)you never reply.
you can always say how much you miss me but now im free and alone..
yet you choose to let me be alone and went for Lan with the one you always see!
im really speechless.you told me after one round you will be going off..
yet its like 4already..all ii get was
NO MESSAGE.
NO CALLS from you!
during weekdays, your always going night-out with friends.
always going major with them.always eating and talking to them.
wasn't that enough.?or you want 24hours with them.?if that's the case...
im leaving.ii need a man.ii need a man who can give what ii want & asked for.
i need someone who knows what's on my mind and what i wish for now.
ii doubts you to be the man now..proof me
NOTHING but im right.
you say im like restricting you..but did you think before you act.?
if ii did
WENT working ii
WONT BOTHER!but now im
SICK!yet what you give?
nothing but disappointed me.that's all you can give.thank you.
Labels: didn't went work...
what we could have been, 4:06 PM.
God, may ii ask you something that ii wish to.?
i've been thinking this question ever since past few years.?
please just grant my wish and let me know your answer...
ii don't understand why you're the one who make human..
and your the one who take them back to your side.?!why!!!
your the one who want human to fall in love with each other...
but why still break them apart.?!I DON'T KNOW WHY!!
ii don't really get along well with my friends..but ii DO BOTHER!
ii DO CARE! ii know they will always say its nothing its over...
but ii still CONCERN of what happened or happening.??!!
some of my friends is facing all ups and downs with their guy.
why want them love each other so deeply then BREAK them apart?
don't they deserve each other.?or was that what ii called FATED?
why when ii grow up ii have to bear the pain of losing my family member?
why do ii have to grow up and see how my loves one lay in the coffin!?
when will everyone be happy with what they have.?
when will we human be long lasting with one another.?
....................................................
Baby,
you might be thinking the different way im thinking..
ii can understand your feeling.we are the weird couple!
we always don't have the same thinking and target right.?
hahahahaahahahah :) ii miss you for days.so is now...
Labels: i miss you so
what we could have been, 6:32 PM.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Lover,
im very very sorry.
about what happened within us.
ii hope we can just let it be in there.
and never be drag out to spoil us.
ii don't know what happened to you and him.
but ii really hope nothing big alright.?
what we could have been, 8:27 PM.
sorry that ii don't know you have such a attitude towards
our timing for
MIDNIGHT MOVIE.if ii know there's
NO MORENEXT TIME for us to get on a moive then.
ii never comment that much was like OH.you can happily
enjoy going midnight movie when your guy tell me you can't
go with us for late movie and now you went with friends.?
so means if ii want you to watch midnight movie with us..
I GOT TO BUY YOUR TICKET??!wont it feel more like
FORCE!?
im so so speechless and disappointed with what you
WROTE on.
thanks for all the shooting in blogs and not
STRAIGHT TO MY FACE!IF YOU HAVING ANY COMMENT PLEASE KINDLY SHOOT IT RIGHT IN MY EYES AND SPEAK AT MY FACE!RATHER THAN YOU KEEP SHOOT AT BLOG.oh forget ii don't have the right!
just shoot so much as you want.your
FUCK UP with me.?izzit.?
please don't ever
FUCK UP with me..LOL!you have the right to say what you want.
but do you remember what you said in the past few months.?
your guy said your not going last movie.so ii was trying to know why.?
but when you update your blog saying you went for late movie..how ii
FEEL!?
NOTHING!?right.?then let it all be
NOTHING WITHIN US!
treated you as a
FUCKING CLOSE FRIEND.so what.?
small matters you can just say your
FUCK UP?
then when ii message you its always a
NOTHING! or
OK!
what's wrong with that reply right.?hahahahas !
in this
FUCKING WORLD ONLY ME WAS WRONG ALWAYS!NO OTHER PEOPLE WAS WRONG LIKE ME! FUCK IT!
Labels: TO HER.
what we could have been, 4:50 PM.
hello..goodmorning everyone~
its early now..should be my OFF DAY..
but im BACK in office this Morning :)
somehow ii started to enjoy my work.
but baby ii know when im enjoying your suffering.
because im always working working & WORKING~
totally have lesser and lesser time for you now :(
im sorry.but all ii wish is hurry finish everything on hand.
baby please bear with me now alright.?
yesterday while im sleeping..ii dream of something so random!
ii dream till my closest friend(Clement) at work with me :)
we have alot of fun..but suddenly my....PHONE RING!!!!
woke up from the nice & fun dream..answer and realize....AGNES!
my jiejie called in the middle of the night man!!!didn't tell her...I'M SLEEPING!
hahahahahahas :) scare if ii do she won't be telling me what she wants to.
talk to her till 1plus ii think..after ending the call ii doze off fast!!!
*****
[ii wish to ask everyone in this earth...
if your a guy will you allow your girl to go club with her friends.?
included guys and girls too :) please give some comment...]
im asking this was because ii just wish to know.
baby don't allow..but maybe because of the place im in..
ii wish to join friends when they went clubbing or pub :)
ii felt that ii have change.change to go for friends more..
but baby believe me ii love you like the past i do~HUGS!
Labels: in office
what we could have been, 10:28 AM.
baby,
its our 1year 6months anniversary.
i have known you for 1years plus more than our dating moments.
i know your everything.but ii can never say i'm really 100% (liao jie).
we still get some big or small quarrels..but i believe after each quarrel..
we tend to know each other more well and we get to learn more things.
i know whenever im having mood swing your the first to get it from me!
seriously baby i'm very very sorry all the silly mistakes and shit ii gave.
ii know myself well.ii know most of the times im getting over your limits.
ii also know sometimes you really really wanted to shout "STOP" to everything.
including our relationship..im sorry to make you go through all my Rubbish!
sometimes girls just can't get their emotions done well..baby i'm sorry :(
our relationship was once on the rocky side..we nearly ended off.
but im very happy and glad you gave me the second chance back.
i swear to treasure it.i will treasure everything im having and holding now.
thank you for all this while baby.
HAPPY 1YEAR 6MONTHS ANNIVERSARY.
your seriously the best ii ever have before :)
i need you in my whole life for this life time~
baby i love you just like how we started knowing each other in maple story :)
im writing as im working.ii just don't want to miss the timing for you~
So sorry baby knowing its our anniversary but we can't be meeting.
ii miss you badly.but whenever im busy working my time pass so fast:)
its a good thing that its passing fast, because ii don't have to wait for weekend~
this coming saturday i might be working :( ii know its a badbad news for you.
but ii still have things on hand and got to rush myself for that.SORRY BABY!
im going off and ending this post here.
goodnight.
Labels: 1year 6month
what we could have been, 9:44 PM.
